One day I was just scrolling down in Facebook posts, there I saw this post in one group. While reading this post, I really felt very sad, to be honest, I literally cried. I thought in life some or other person would have faced this problem with someone whom you think special in your life. So I shared that post in this blog.

Here is the story of a girl who lost her relationships by being so nice and not hurting anyone, and worrying about them, thinking what’s wrong in her. Being too good in relationships will always hurt the person. So we should show some attitude towards people to come back or stay in your life.

Our post begins like this

ANONYMOUS POST – XXX

Hello, ladies and gentleman, this is going to be a big post.

This is all about Relationships. Especially would love to hear from people on group who are lucky to have special relationships with different people like friends, cousins, grandparents, parents, in-laws, husband, etc.

My point is, I had quite a number of Special really close friends, besties for life sort of friends. Friends who were of category just friends, male friends who were also close, my cousins whom I really adored and I loved them tremendously. I was a girl who gave her heart out for everyone out there at least from my side and always this bubbly girl out there.

No one ever fought with me or I shared no bitterness. However, as time passed I only realized the special bond I share with everyone out there was always may be one-sided from me. Only I felt I have the people of my own. But, the day I started stopping initiating meetups, conversations, wishing, calling, they all stopped to do so. Everyone talks when I initiate things. Everything happens only when I call them, only when I visit them to their houses. Never do I get any such visits, calls or messages.

Initially, I thought everyone has grown up, busy settling, or maybe I moved to Germany, etc. But when I gave a deep thought, it was always the same. Maybe they misunderstood my precious time as if I was always available, as I had nothing better to do. I was always happy and proud if any of my friends /Cousins achieved success. I promptly had my status changed on FB, WhatsApp, called them congratulated them took parties as well. But the day I achieved my job, my degrees, my dreams, for example, I started writing and sharing I got no response.  Not even when I was getting married. No one did anything that I feel special or loved. Yes, I did not do things so I get something in return, but it’s been a lot of time that people don’t care about me. I saw this over the past few years. It’s not in one day!

I stopped everything from my side; I gave up since last 4 months and viola. I have no one who inquires about me, who talks to me, who shares their happiness or sadness, nothing. It’s like always it was a one-sided thing. I failed at relationships. Why? How?  Not even my real brother really came close to me. He is really is a struggling phase and I want to support him, he knows that well, but he really comes up hard to converse with me. I directly asked him why? He said there is nothing like that what you feel.

My parents never really understood who I was until I came away from them to Germany after marriage. They recently admitted that they could have understood me better earlier. They feel proud now from my achievements. I am content that my relationship with them has evolved now and we share a very good bond. But, that was not before they started understanding me. So it clicked me that same is the case with others.  They never really cared to know who I am or share any bond. But everyone is around me not a single person in the last 30 years? Is it that I am failing something? Is it that I am going wrong? I know now it is much harder to make friends as it is I am in Germany.

 Conclusion:

To conclude, yes I am lucky to have found all these relations in my husband, who really completely understands me, knows me, loves me and does everything to keep me happy.  He says, no you are too down to earth.  You think too much about others & keep yourself aside, have zero attitude and people are mistaken there. This happened even with my sister in law and brother in law.

Every new relationship I try to fail.  He says, Show some attitude, and don’t let people take over you! I don’t know how correct he is! I think yes I earn, I work, I write, but that is for me, not to show people or prove anyone, or to show my loved ones any attitude. I don’t know what is wrong!

Sometimes I think that someone on my behalf asks a few selected people on what went wrong in our relationships! I know it is a childish thought. I really sometimes, Think someone asks my besties with whom I  don’t talk, my cousins, with whom it is just a hi-bye now what they think about me and what went wrong!

I am busy in work, happy life, married but somewhere these things keep popping up!

I tried meditation also, but all this is increasing mess and affecting my concentration at work.

I talked to my husband but he never got a chance to witness all of these relationships so he is also clueless to comment more or help. How to develop the right attitude and create long-lasting relationships?

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